Stronger Together
OK – so I’m writing another piece about running. Who am I? I’ve never been a runner, in fact, I hate running. And before two years ago, I had never associated with runners, nor had I ever watched a running competition. But then Matthew started running, and my life changed. These days, there is nothing I’d rather do than watch runners.
Over the past two years, I have been privy to the transformation of not only my son, but also the boys he runs alongside. My three kids have been on many sports teams with a variety of coaches, but there is no team like this cross-country team and there is no coach like theirs. The coach starts off each year telling the parents that he’s passionate about the program, and that certainly comes through in every excited newsletter he sends out (each one leaves me with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes), each inspirational talk he gives the boys, and all the zipping around he does at meets to cheer on his runners. He clearly loves every second of it. And that rubs off.
The group of boys is as committed as he is. His passion is infectious and touches every member of the team, from the slowest freshman to the fastest senior. They strive to excel for themselves, but also for the team and for their coach. They often exceed all expectations because they give everything they have to this sport. (This year’s team Rebuilt is a testament to that.) They willingly make sacrifices in other areas of their lives for this team. The coach promotes a culture of excellence and that’s what he gets from his guys. Recently, there was an article about this remarkable program in our local paper, where the coach credited the team’s successes to their hard work and dedication. Even the slowest runner (Matthew as a freshman) has something of value to offer the collective: his commitment.
The coach will tell you he’s privileged to work with a group of extraordinary young men, but they certainly all weren’t extraordinary when he met them. In fact, I’m willing to bet the majority of them were pretty ordinary. And many of them weren’t even runners. Two years ago, I handed the coach a reluctant ball of goo that was 14-year-old Matthew, and he has molded my son into something exceptional. Matthew is different in almost every way — he’s more committed, more driven, more disciplined than I ever could have thought possible. And as much as it pains me to admit it, I had very little to do with it.
When you aren’t part of the running program, you know nothing about it. It’s a sport that lies under the radar. But when you’re in it, there’s nothing else that can compare. I get a runner’s high just watching from the sidelines. But it really goes so far beyond running. This group of boys is accepting, inclusive, supportive and uplifting. I’ve watched them warm up and run together, jump and dance together, lie around and rest together. They’re as tight as band of brothers. It’s a beautiful thing to watch from the outside, I can only imagine how beautiful it must be on the inside. In fact, Matthew believes he’s part of the greatest, most admirable, most enviable group of guys in school. Not the football team. Not the hockey team. The self-named distance crew. I am so thankful that this is Matthew’s life.
Excellence starts from the top, and this coach leads by example. It’s no wonder that the boys aim to please him and strive to be like him. I couldn’t hope for a better role-model for my teenage son. He is available for them on and off the course. He instructs them to live healthily and run daily and this is what he does. In fact, Matthew and I once “ran” into him while he was out (actually) running, and I watched as Matthew lit up from within upon seeing his coach unexpectedly. It’s evident there is no one he admires more.
The coach teaches our boys how to be good men in his lectures. He tosses them nuggets of wisdom to be used on the course and in life. Things like “toughness translates.” After much bafflement, I’ve come to realize this means that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Another one of my favorites is “commitment is contagious,” meaning that if you’re committed to something, those around you will follow suit. And then there’s “stronger together,” which is self-explanatory. So basic, but so transcendent. If only the whole world lived according to the mottos of this team
Yesterday, I stood on the sidelines along with tens of thousands of other spectators at the Illinois Cross Country State Championship at the legendary Detweiller Park Course. This was our second consecutive year at the runners’ “Field of Dreams,” watching Cross Country’s “Super Bowl.” In spite of the crappy weather, the atmosphere was electric. Matthew was there as a Top-14 Varsity member of his qualifying team. This was the lofty goal he’d set for himself last year. I was worried that he’d be disappointed because it seemed unattainable at the time. But in this sport, perhaps more than any other, you get out of it what you put into it. Matthew’s hard work, persistence and dedication earned him his spot in the Top 14. It’s simply overwhelming. As his mom, it’s been my greatest joy watching him find himself as a runner, watching him strive for and attain excellence under the tutelage of a once-in-a-lifetime coach and as a member of this unique and special brotherhood. I’ve watched as his life has changed, taken on new meaning, become richer. Matthew has gained so much more than just running from this team. Thank you, coach. For Everything.